Today’s post centers on a negotiation tip. Here’s the executive summary for you: The goal of negotiation isn’t to be liked by your negotiating opposite.
I know that that’s a shock to a lot of people, to those who don’t like to ruffle feelings.
In fact, being liked isn’t even a good tool to help you in a negotiation because it can lead you astray. It can cause you to temper your negotiating posture through the filter of being liked — you hold back because you’re concerned about being seen as disruptive, i.e., as “not liked.”
Your goal in negotiation is to maximize your position. It’s not to kill the deal unless it should die. And, there is usually a pretty clear line between maximizing your position and blowing the whole deal up. But I’m telling you that in any and all events, that line is nowhere near you being liked.
Don’t be concerned with what or how the other side thinks about you. I can almost guarantee you that they don’t think about you.
Focus on the the deal points. Be concerned about whether you achieve them.
As to the other side? If, despite what I advise, you want to be concerned at all about what they think about you, then be concerned about whether they respect you, not about whether they like you.
